16

01:50:00

It was to be a busy year for her. A lot of classes. A tight schedule. She woke up early in the morning to attend her morning classes and came back in the late afternoon to prepare some dinner and to study till late at night. She was terrible during the exam session. Stressed. Incapable of working under pressure. Instead, she decided to be systematic and start from the very beginning. She played her favorite music and studied along to her beloved tunes.

Things started to get worse with her boyfriend. They were together since high-school and at some point, she was even planning a wedding. Such a spontaneous student wedding when kids are young and don’t think about the consequences. Hippie style without much planning and the Church involved. A couple of things happened along the way and now the wedding was for her a thing from the distant never-to-be. There was this girl, Daria. At first, she thought that it was nothing serious, that she was just a friend. Another friend, as he had a lot of female friends. But then it appeared that he liked her more than other friends, got excited over her Facebook pictures at the same time ignoring hers: including the one in her flattering flowery dress and the one on a Dutch bicycle. He lost interest. She had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

She was supposed to go to her family for the weekend but she decided to attend a pre-studies party. He was there. Daria was also there. And she saw him kissing her in the light of the Ikea lamp when she entered the room, returning from the toilet.

It wasn’t about the time they spent together. It wasn’t about the years. It was about the fact how he decided to end the whole thing, not telling her anything, not saying goodbye. He just started it off with another one, ignoring even the fact that she was there.

She got drunk. Not black-out drunk, but angry drunk. She found another guy: Mark or Steve. What was the difference? He invited her over to his place. They had sex. Twice. She enjoyed it, having in mind the picture of her recent ex kissing a new girl. She woke up in the morning, got dressed and forgot this Mark/Steve in the first place.

She came back to the flat as nothing had happened and slept the first day of classes. But these were just the September language classes she enrolled earlier that year and it wasn’t a drag in her highly ambitious prospective schedule. She was still motivated and, now, single. She was in the finishing stages of her studies and she was empowered by the fact that she will soon finish her education and start developing her career. It wasn’t about becoming a vicious career woman. It was more about becoming independent and finally living on her own.

Her flatmate was still in his room, not even bothering to leave. That was outrageous. He was working, he had a flat for himself and he missed out on everything. Instead of traveling and trying every possible thing worth trying, he was locked in his room like a zoo animal. What was so scary in walking out of that place? What was that difficult in taking part in the life as billions of people used to take part in? Why was he so special to choose the life of isolation?

Apparently, he also chose the life of silence. Yes, she did invite some friends over to her room. Yes, they did drink a couple of bottles of beer. Yes, they did start singing Christmas carols to entertain themselves and trigger irresistible laughter. Yes, they did get so drunk that they took his door for the bathroom door and almost threw up on the door knob.

He was irritated and she was officially informed that such parties must come to an end. She accepted the fact that she had to lead her social life outside. With the approach of November, she had to accept one more fact. She missed her period.

It was around the time when via a webpage she discovered that she missed also the concert of her favorite band. She didn’t know how it happened. Was it about Daria and her ex? Was it because she was busy re-socializing with her student friends? All of the tickets were sold out and she didn’t have money because she was still waiting for the maintenance money from her parents. She cried for three days. She was heart-broken. Tears were running over her cheeks and she just couldn’t believe that as a number one fan she just couldn’t make it. She saw herself in the crowd, cheering, wearing her favorite indie flower headband, dancing along the music. Her life ended with one missed purchase of the ticket. She just missed the world.