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When the child was born she was head over heels. She had always dreamed of being a mother. It wasn’t about the wedding in a beautiful white dress and hundreds of guests. It wasn’t about the ceremony. She felt that she was lucky, as she didn’t have to fight for what others couldn’t take for granted. Her grandmother left her the flat since she was an only child and her only granddaughter. She wasn’t particularly sociable, but she resisted her boring schedule and went to one house party where she met her husband. The first husband. She didn’t like him very much but he found her extremely attractive. She sensed it and she also sensed it during their long and exhausting honeymoon. She couldn’t tell if she had really been in love. It was the right time to get married and the right time to have a baby. She didn’t really like sex.
Once she got pregnant, she decided that her devotion was enough and she could stop having any sex life at all. The intimacy without purpose with a person she didn’t really feel like being intimate with was pointless. From then on her only focus was her son. After twenty hours of pains and cramps, after three hours of pushing she gave birth to a beautiful boy and for once she was happy. She loved taking care of the child. Everything was exciting: from changing nappies to waiting for his first smile, first word, and first walk. She loved playing with him and taking care of his education. There wasn’t a board game she didn’t know, there wasn’t a homework activity which she didn’t check. She was a conscious parent, a responsible mother and a happy fulfilled being.
She didn’t notice that something went wrong with the husband. She was actually surprised when he was away for a night or two and didn’t tell her where he had been all this time. She was shocked when he said that he lost his job and had no money to support her in raising up the child and paying the bills. She felt deceived, as she expected him to mollycoddle her just as every member of her family did, starting from grandparents. He just didn’t fulfill his duties. She filed for divorce and was supported by her parents during the court trials and months after that. She tried various relationships after the failed one. She bought brand new lingerie and left her teenage son alone during the night since she was desperately trying to win her lost love life back. She married again. The man was hostile and he didn’t like her son. He hit her once and that was the final straw. She decided to divorce again.
The problem was that when her love life was continually on and off she missed one important fact. Her son seemed not to leave the room. He was sitting there all day and all night. She thought that after studies he would start a family and leave. Nothing of the kind happened. After three years of constantly living side by side with her son, she finally decided to do something. She found a job in Norway, she packed her bags and left. That was the best decision of her life. She found someone. Someone who didn’t find sex that important, someone who respected her and finally loved her for who she was. She traveled and experienced all the things she wanted to experience.
Once she overheard two women gossiping with each other.
‘It’s funny how they met. He was letting out the rooms in his flat and she was tempted by a low price. They just bumped into each other. They fell in love. A funny thing, she didn’t have to move out, she just stayed. A very happy couple. They go out a lot. She laughed that she was looking for a room and won the whole flat with the landlord…’
She felt that it was a sign. She wrote an advertisement in the online website for renting rooms, selling cars and exchanging furniture. She had already known that she was sick. That was the only thing she could do for the boy once she was away. She picked a girl. Then she just let it go. When she was dying, she imagined her son happily in love in a healthy relationship. She pictured him outside with a wife and a big smile. She died happy.
Once she got pregnant, she decided that her devotion was enough and she could stop having any sex life at all. The intimacy without purpose with a person she didn’t really feel like being intimate with was pointless. From then on her only focus was her son. After twenty hours of pains and cramps, after three hours of pushing she gave birth to a beautiful boy and for once she was happy. She loved taking care of the child. Everything was exciting: from changing nappies to waiting for his first smile, first word, and first walk. She loved playing with him and taking care of his education. There wasn’t a board game she didn’t know, there wasn’t a homework activity which she didn’t check. She was a conscious parent, a responsible mother and a happy fulfilled being.
She didn’t notice that something went wrong with the husband. She was actually surprised when he was away for a night or two and didn’t tell her where he had been all this time. She was shocked when he said that he lost his job and had no money to support her in raising up the child and paying the bills. She felt deceived, as she expected him to mollycoddle her just as every member of her family did, starting from grandparents. He just didn’t fulfill his duties. She filed for divorce and was supported by her parents during the court trials and months after that. She tried various relationships after the failed one. She bought brand new lingerie and left her teenage son alone during the night since she was desperately trying to win her lost love life back. She married again. The man was hostile and he didn’t like her son. He hit her once and that was the final straw. She decided to divorce again.
The problem was that when her love life was continually on and off she missed one important fact. Her son seemed not to leave the room. He was sitting there all day and all night. She thought that after studies he would start a family and leave. Nothing of the kind happened. After three years of constantly living side by side with her son, she finally decided to do something. She found a job in Norway, she packed her bags and left. That was the best decision of her life. She found someone. Someone who didn’t find sex that important, someone who respected her and finally loved her for who she was. She traveled and experienced all the things she wanted to experience.
Once she overheard two women gossiping with each other.
‘It’s funny how they met. He was letting out the rooms in his flat and she was tempted by a low price. They just bumped into each other. They fell in love. A funny thing, she didn’t have to move out, she just stayed. A very happy couple. They go out a lot. She laughed that she was looking for a room and won the whole flat with the landlord…’
She felt that it was a sign. She wrote an advertisement in the online website for renting rooms, selling cars and exchanging furniture. She had already known that she was sick. That was the only thing she could do for the boy once she was away. She picked a girl. Then she just let it go. When she was dying, she imagined her son happily in love in a healthy relationship. She pictured him outside with a wife and a big smile. She died happy.
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